This Girl

So there is This Girl whom I am so jealous of.

I think my jealousy of her started when my sister said that her 'Ate' (This Girl) is perfect beyond compare, and that I should be like her, especially since This Girl is so... girly.

At first I just brushed it off, telling my sister that its just too bad that she could not replace me with the sister she wants. But deep down, it hurt. Thus began my jealousy of This Girl.

We met, of course, and she's nice. Which makes me jealous even more. Isn't that how it goes?

This Girl is probably around my age with one adorable kid. 'Good for her', I say. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart. But that does not keep me from being jealous... let me count the ways.

She's pretty.

She's sexy (which my sister keeps repeating and repeating).

She's a cool mom.

She's hip and trendy. And,

She's the sister my sister wants.

I'm a mom, too! But maybe I'm not a cool mom. I don't let my children drink coffee, or play with gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I am not sexy, not even near curvaceous - just plain old fat. And I am definitely not hip nor trendy - bordering along the lines of weird and eclectic. I am not pretty, too. And most of all, I guess my sister does not want me to be her sister.

The last one hurts like hell.

I've got to hand it over to This Girl, even I cannot hate her. I try not to hate people anyway... especially since she is nice. I think. I am just jealous. I just wanted to get that out in the open.

But if I were asked if I would change to be like her - because I am so jealous of her - then I would say, NO.

Why?

Even though I am not a cool mom, I stand by my decision to allow/teach my children to read books, do arts and crafts, listen to music without headphones on, and just play in the sun. I still prefer to create cardboard box houses with them, and so on. As jealous as I am with This Girl, I think I will stick to my goofy self and just maybe admire how cool she is - as best as I can! LOL

I try not to be jealous with This Girl. Really. Jealousy is baaaaaaaaaad.

I swear, I have tried everything I could think of to make myself feel better, but it just is not working.

*le sigh* Well, I just wanted to say that out loud. :) Hehe

Cheers.

** This post was written 3 days ago, but I am so lazy/busy/lame these days. C'est la vie!