Am I not pretty enough?

No?

Okay.

LoL

After spending the night bawling my eyes out, I thought I'd try to look pretty today, although that obviously failed, too. But for some reason, I don't care of the rest of the world does not think I am pretty enough. My husband sure feels that I am the most beautiful girl in the world. And that is enough for me.

One of the things that I've noticed since transferring to Phnom Penh is that the ladies here are a bit particular when it comes to beauty. I doubt, though, that they are vain. But they are quite ~*particular*~.

Take Ms A for example. Ms A is in her early twenties. She is relatively on the thin side so much so that when she sits next to me, I'm like the balloon and she's the stick. For realz. But this may be because I am on the LARGE bordering on EXTRA Large size, and she is on the opposite end of the spectrum. Still, Ms A feels that she is fat. I told her she's not. I hope she believed me.

Now, Ms A spends money getting her hair dyed every few months, and has hair cuts every few months. That is not vanity per se, as I believe its just good grooming habits. Ms A also wants to be whiter. She is whiter than me, but she wants to be more white, because locals believe white skin = gorgeous.

Ms B, on the other hand, is like Ms A in a number of ways. However, her favorite past time is spending hours on Facebook just looking for creams that would increase her chest endowments, make her nips and lips pink, etc. No matter how many times you stress the fact that they are beautiful in their own right, they will never listen to you. I swear - I tried.

Oh don't start the 'you don't know how it feels' mantra. I know exactly how they feel... except... well, a miracle happened when I transferred to Phnom Penh. You know what? People here keep telling me I'm 'thom thom' (Khmer for 'big big' aka 'fat') day in and day out. What can you expect? Next to Ms A and Ms B, I'm like a frickin dinosaur. ROFLMAO. Incidentally, this pushed me to accept myself... dinosaur size and whatever my face looks like. But I still feel a wee bit sad about my physical predicament every now and then. What can I do? Move forward... that's what. Also, just loving myself makes it a little bit better.

The Khmer ladies are quite pretty, let me tell you. They do know how to present themselves - albeit a little bit dated, but they still rock. I can honestly say that although I may not be pretty enough, I have learned much from my new friends  especially when it comes to being comfortable in my own skin and finding ways to best 'present' myself.

There's this song called 'Not Pretty Enough' by Kasey Chambers which used to be my Theme Song. I listened to it today, and although I still feel the emotions in the song, you could say that it just makes me want to reach out to those who don't feel pretty enough.

Hmm.. I betcha you didn't read this far. ROFLMAO. I know, I know. ... TL;DR. I hope you enjoy the song though! :)

Ciao.