Battle Royale: Of tea and coffee

Good morning.

Today is a Wednesday. It is Hump Day, and it truly feels like a hump of a day for me.

It would be easy to claim that I foresee the coming hours to be smooth, yet that seems highly improbable. That is why I started the day with tea.

I guess there remains this grand debate as to which is better. TEA or COFFEE. Many tea lovers would say, 'tea, darling,' while many coffee lovers would say, 'I don't have blood in my veins, just coffee.' Or something like that.

It's my mom that comes to mind whenever I read that coffee line. Though she drinks tea, too.

As for myself, I find that both have their own effects on my system.

If I prefer to have a really chill day, then I go with tea. I find it opens up the senses and encourages me to breathe. Oh, yes, I drink tea now. I used to loathe it with a vengeance, but now not so much. I still cannot stomach green tea though. I am simply a beginner.

On the other hand, if I prefer to SEIZE the day, then by God, I'm gonna have coffee. Lots of it. If I am stressed and losing will to survive, then my go-to is coffee. Lots of it.

At the end of the day, I still think I am more of a coffee lover, though tea and I are becoming fast friends.

For challenging days such as today, I started off with tea.

Ten bucks says I will drown myself in coffee before the day is through.

Have a good one, folks!!

*Note: This was written early in the morning from my phone. However, because the Blogger app royally sucks, this is now a late post.

Hi.

Oh, eeeew!

This post marks what would seem like a year of no posts.

On the contrary, I relocated to a proper domain name that was all fancy and stuff, and then, I neglected payments. One thing led to another, I am back here.

That means there were a lot of posts over there that I failed to backup.

And...

That's like a year of posts that went down the drain. But, whatever.

Let's start from today.

Happy Khmer New Year, folks!

The keyboard named Felicity

Would you say I'm sane if I told you that my current state of happiness is because of a keyboard?

Yep. A keyboard.

I gots me a keyboard and we are going to get married.

No, scratch that. I am already married. So, we shall be like best friends and have ice cream during these days where Phnom Penh weather has decided that we are all popsicles lying on the hot asphalt.

For months I have been struggling with a keyboard that does not work. Okay, maybe it does work a little but it has already complained several times that it has refused to give me the service I require.

So today, to celebrate certain blessings, I finally got a new keyboard.

I shall name her... Felicity. Yes, that shall be her name.

Why Felicity? Because ARROW.

I have a huge girl-crush on Felicity Smoak (Emily Bett). I think she is just adorable. More adorable than Jess, from New Girl. BUT THAT'S JUST MY OPINION, K? Its the geekiness, the chic geekiness. Makes me want to be like her. Truly. No lies.

So, my keyboard happiness has prompted me to write a post.

Yes, I am actually brimming with words that are not work related, and I've been meaning to write. It's just that the keyboard I was using was unbearable. Who wants to write with that?

Now, I have one that works.

Remember, her name is Felicity.

And now, I shall go back to more productive things... Like, setting up my new blog!

Yes, I have another one.

Cheers!

Quick update on my stellar life

I actually have play by play posts on what has happened in my life, yet I have not managed to finish a single post. It is not that I have procrastinated, merely that I feel that the posts need more *oomph* than the substance that it currently has.

5 quick updates so you can go on your way, and I will do whatever it is I am up to doing right now.

1. Health - so far, so good. I have lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks. It is not that much, but believe me, right now, I am enjoying the lowest weight I have achieved since 2009. THAT long. Yes. Me, myself, and I are on a journey of self discovery and we are taking it slow.  

Up at 4 in the morning

Hello, world!

I am alive. Just so you know.

I've been up since 4 in the morning because troubled minds are restless. Well, my mind is not exactly troubled that much, just sad.

I have not posted anything in December because I went home to celebrate Christmas and New Year with my family and friends. It was exhilarating and quite festive despite meager fanfare and finances were not abundant. Like most Filipinos, we made do with what we had. We had a great time, and that was that.

Happy New Year by the way!

How was your New Year's celebration? Mine was fine, too. We did not have firecrackers though. We had somebody fashion a cannon out of cans (canyon lata), duct tape, some flammable liquid, and parts of a lighter. It is a safer alternative than using firecrackers, and packs a mean punch, too! All for 300 pesos. NOTE: Makers should do it correctly otherwise it would still be hazardous to your health.

Aside from welcoming the New Year without firecrackers, we did something different this year as well. We also welcomed 2013 with some backyard dancing, where young and old just let loose to various tunes under the pale moonlight. Some of the tunes played were Apache Indian's Boom Shak-a-lak, Psy's Gangnam Style, and other dance-able tunes. It was quite a sight, actually. Especially when the manly men imitated the Budots Dance as best as they can.

We were also able to celebrate the New Year by heading over to the nearest beach at the end of January 1. It was also known as my last day of happiness back at home as I had to board a plane back to Cambodia by January 2.

Happy times, sad times.

And now, I am back.

How goes it?

WeatheredRockSunset

Sometimes ... well, these days rather, I wonder what I am doing in my life.

This year has been a blizzard of things, yet somehow it feels like It has just crept by slowly like a snail or a slug - slugging on.

I don't really understand what changes are happening, or where my path lies. It just is, and I live through it on a daily basis.

My mind wanders aimlessly throughout the days, and although certain things happen, its not so monumental as to rock my world - most of the time. Often, I find myself enclosed by four bland walls at the end the day, waiting for somebody to come online on Skype. But when that person comes, sometimes I find myself at a loss of words.

I wonder if this is feeling is a lack of happiness. Sure enough, I've never felt really HAPPY over the past few months. I just exist to exist, and that is all there is. I work to provide, I live so that I may one day go home.

There is no happiness.

I guess that is it.

While I do find pleasure in some day-to-day experiences, and at times at night. But these bland walls haunt me.

I miss that soaring feeling. That certain kind of high whenever my special someone is around. I miss hugs. I miss all out laughter. I miss the feeling of freedom.

But I cannot tell others that. It would seem weird.

Then again. I am weird.

Sigh.

Puzzle pieces

I guess I had forgotten how much I loved to write what was in my heart.

I guess I had forgotten that a blog is a journal - albeit online - and that journals are collections of thoughts, musings, findings, rants, raves, and basically an anthology of snippets.

I realize that whenever we take something we are passionate above and convert it into something you are forced to do, the inevitable burn out happens. Sucks when it does.

For me, its the road to writing from the heart.

Its living from the heart.

Its existing for who I am.

Puzzle pieces.

Our lives are filled with puzzle pieces, and its a gazillion or something jigsaw puzzle ready to be pieced together.

I pray none of us give up on this project.

Project: Me.

Photo swiped from BlogForProfit

This Girl

So there is This Girl whom I am so jealous of.

I think my jealousy of her started when my sister said that her 'Ate' (This Girl) is perfect beyond compare, and that I should be like her, especially since This Girl is so... girly.

At first I just brushed it off, telling my sister that its just too bad that she could not replace me with the sister she wants. But deep down, it hurt. Thus began my jealousy of This Girl.

We met, of course, and she's nice. Which makes me jealous even more. Isn't that how it goes?

This Girl is probably around my age with one adorable kid. 'Good for her', I say. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart. But that does not keep me from being jealous... let me count the ways.

She's pretty.

She's sexy (which my sister keeps repeating and repeating).

She's a cool mom.

She's hip and trendy. And,

She's the sister my sister wants.

I'm a mom, too! But maybe I'm not a cool mom. I don't let my children drink coffee, or play with gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I am not sexy, not even near curvaceous - just plain old fat. And I am definitely not hip nor trendy - bordering along the lines of weird and eclectic. I am not pretty, too. And most of all, I guess my sister does not want me to be her sister.

The last one hurts like hell.

I've got to hand it over to This Girl, even I cannot hate her. I try not to hate people anyway... especially since she is nice. I think. I am just jealous. I just wanted to get that out in the open.

But if I were asked if I would change to be like her - because I am so jealous of her - then I would say, NO.

Why?

Even though I am not a cool mom, I stand by my decision to allow/teach my children to read books, do arts and crafts, listen to music without headphones on, and just play in the sun. I still prefer to create cardboard box houses with them, and so on. As jealous as I am with This Girl, I think I will stick to my goofy self and just maybe admire how cool she is - as best as I can! LOL

I try not to be jealous with This Girl. Really. Jealousy is baaaaaaaaaad.

I swear, I have tried everything I could think of to make myself feel better, but it just is not working.

*le sigh* Well, I just wanted to say that out loud. :) Hehe

Cheers.

** This post was written 3 days ago, but I am so lazy/busy/lame these days. C'est la vie!

My GIFTS

Here's the thing, somebody once told me that I keep saying the word 'gift'. Like, 

"Hey! Your @$$ is HUGE!" and I'd say, "Thank you! It's a gift!"

You get my drift, don't you?

Sure, it is a joke, but apart from being a joke, it is also quite true. It was given to me, ergo, a gift from my maker. Not sure if you got yours from the same maker, but a gift is a gift, and gifts - I believe - should be well-received.

It took me a long time to wrap my head around that concept, but I think I am getting there. Pronouncing things as gifts make me happy. So sue me.

Getting gifts, giving gifts, making gifts, wrapping gifts, and thinking about gifts gives me a happy flutter where my heart used to be. I am sorry if saying it bugs the heck out of people, but I don't see any harm in actually saying I have gifts from higher powers. Although I am not worthy of such gifts, but who are you to hate on what I have been given. 

I still don't get it. So what if I say 'gift' a lot? I have gifts. You have gifts. Everybody is GIFTED. I am VERY GIFTED. Harhar!

Jeluz?